Equilibrium

I want to help but it seems my efforts to help are making things worse. What do i do? What would you do?

If something is wrong between two people, i prefer to talk about it. On past occassions that i have chosen not to talk about it, it has turned out for the worse. We didnt talk and slowly but surely, resentment built up culminating in an outpouring of emotion and words some of which were unpleasant.

Now i find myself in a difficult situation. I want to talk about things with a view to improving the situation for everyone involved. The person in question does not wish to speak about it and when they do, they are by default defensive. Consequently we cannot engage in an open and frank discussion and tend to argue which completely defeats the entire objective. The subject in question is a very difficult one and has to be handled with care to prevent things getting worse.

The main problem is that if i try to talk to someone over a period of time and they are invariably hostile, i tend to gradually give up on the subject. In this particular case, this is not an option as i believe that they would like on some level to talk to me about it.

I must find balance. Somehow i have to not bring the subject up all the time while avoiding the frustration of not talking about it and pretending things are ok. I have to keep an ear open for the day they are ready to talk about it. It will be difficult to do but i have to do it.

Something precious is at stake...needs must.