Sporting life

Its been ages since i blogged about sports. This is unacceptable and i shall be putting this right soon.

So much to blog about.

Kimi "the iceman" raikonnen winning the F1 world title (yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, forza ferrari).

Lewis Hamilton's impressive F1 debut.

and most important of all the departure of Jose "the special one" Mourinho from Chelsea football club. Jose is a fuckin legend. He was, is and will remain the special one.

When i grow up......

When i was a child, i wanted to be a soldier. Between childhood and my current state of apparent adulthood i have wanted to be (in no particular order) a writer (actually wrote a few chapters), pilot, footballer, an engineer, an architect, an accountant (while i'm good at maths i'm glad i didn't follow this through) and of course a businessman (whatever that means).

I find it really absurd that people are frequently asked to choose a career path while still in their teens. It's ridiculous. The career i wanted at the age of 16 has completely gone out the window 10 years later. Hell i'm still not even sure if the path i have chosen right now will be the same one i'll be on 10 years from now.

While i accept that there are some people who know what they want to do from a very young age and do not change it all through their life i'd have to argue that they are in the minority. Most people chop and change as they go along, you pretty much have to.Life is not static, it is most certainly not constant in a mathematical formula. Shit happens in life and i guess one has to be able to evolve with the stuff that happens around us.

Its more annoying cos most people my age went to uni and are now working in a field totally unrelated to what they studied. This would be ok if it was accepted that a university education was strictly a quest for knowledge but the pervading myth is that it WILL help you get a better job. Bollocks.

Unless you ace the crap out of your chosen course it is very likely that you degree will not be much of a help when it comes to getting a job straight out of uni. I've watched lots of my peers go through the same stuff. Plus the added bonus of paying off a student loan for the next decade or more. I'm all in favour of going to uni to gain knowledge. Just seems far better than going to uni so you can get a decent job. Dont think it will happen though. The world is too far gone in the current direction and any attempt to change its course will be....fucking difficult.

I guess its a good thing to encourage kids to dream about what they want to be when they grow up but as always there has to be a balance.

When i grow up, i want to be a fireman.

When i grow up, i want to be a doctor.

When i grow up, i want to be a lawyer.

Nah....

When i grow up, i want to be me.

Life but not in fiction

22.28pm.

The girl said something to me this evening.
She was about to get up and go do something, i said something along the lines of "where are you going?".
She said to me "sometimes you can be really horrible".

In my head it was a perfectly normal question to ask but looking back my intonation was not a good one.

I have always liked reading stuff where the writer or character is unsure and expressing this confusion. I came across someone's blog and i liked it for this reason. For me it resonates with the inner belief that everyone is on some path to a destination unknown (even if they are unaware of this). Movies & books where the character is struggling to find......i'm not sure what they are looking for. I guess its one of those "you'll know it when you see it" kind of things.

I've only now realised that my girlfriend is one of these characters that i so love in books and films. Took me 5 years of being with her to make this connection. Bloody hell.

The thing is, its not like in the movies. Being with her is......well its being with her. The same reason why i love those characters in the movies/books (confusion, constant searching, uncertainty, unbound joy, craziness) is the same reason why sometimes its really bloody difficult to be with the girl. One is only human and sometimes, one gets annoyed, frustrated or both. Which funny enough makes things not better (yes it would have been much easier to say much worse but there you go). The confusion that plagues those characters makes them seem connectable in some way. The reality is that it takes a lot of patience to talk someone through things over and over. It is right that one should talk things through with people, over and over if needs be.

I wish she hadnt said what she had to me. I wish i had spoken differently. I would like to be more understanding 99% of the time (100% is out of the question as perfection cant be attained by humans). Fundamentally i would like to be a bloody good boyfriend. Like a 9/10 not a 7/10. For me 7/10 is not good enough if one is supposed to be in a serious relationship.

Maybe i am a bloody good boyfriend, maybe not.

Does it matter, should it matter?

I think so.

I do love her sooo much.

Mistakes and stuff

19.52 pm.

Very odd. I really feel crap right now. This in itself is nothing special, feeling crap is part of the human condition. What is odd is the path i took to my current state of crapness. 10 or so minutes ago i was doing ok. Then i thought of a decision that i had gotten wrong. Essentially i am starting my own business, its going ok i guess. We are good to go save for the fact that no one knows we exist. Fear not for we have "le grand marketing plan". In light of the fact that people will hopefully soon know that we exist, some changes have to be made to the current state of play.

One of these changes would not have been necessary had i listened and thought shit through a few months back. That, people is the trigger for my current state of crapness. The thing about starting your own business is that you'll make mistakes, hopefully none of them will be irretrievable. So far, none of our mistakes have proven to be catastrophic.

Its really odd. Its quite interesting the reactions you get when talking to people about trying to start your own company. My business partners family didnt seem to enthused by the idea that they wanted to do their own thing. It felt to me like they thought it was a phase thing she was going through and she'd get over it and soon come to her senses. I cant say hand on heart that they have all been supportive but to be fair they have not exactly been negative. They just dont seem too fussed, perhaps they are waiting to see if it kicks off. Fair enough i guess, much better than being negative.

My own family have been supportive but that is not a surprise. Generally speaking my siblings and i tend to walk around thinking that we can conquer the world. So anytime one of us says i'm going to do such and such, we're all pretty much like "yeah, cool stuff. You can do it". I am lucky i guess, from as long as i can remember my family have been pretty much supportive. My parents and my siblings are good like that. It was only recently that i made the possible connection between this and my confidence as a random person. Thank the lord for that.

Blogging is cool. I dont feel crap anymore, infact i am feeling quite good. Fuck yeah.