Champions Champions Champions

Champions baby. The special one has done it again. Best team in london and the country. So much for our blip or buckling under pressure. We only needed a draw to seal the title but beating the second placed team 3-0 will do as well. To be fair, Man Utd did have a good chance in the 1st half but rooney missed a glorious chance to level the game to 1-1. I'd imagine they now rue that missed opportunity.

Back to back titles baby. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it you gooners. Hahahaha. I'm sorry but i cant help but gloat. Much gloating is necessary, arsenal keep going on about how good they are and stuff but they are yet to win back to back titles - well not since the 1930s anyway.

Had a massive grin on my face this afternoon, i was calming down considerably but watching Match of the day has brought it all to the fore once again. Love it, i fucking love it. We are the dogs bollocks, the big dogz up in here, the team with the biggest balls, the team with King Kong's jupiter ballz. We are all that and a bag of chips WITH chilli sauce.

We are the special ones, we are the special ones, we are the special ones, we are the special ones.

What was that silly taunt from last season? Oh yeah

Have you ever seen Chelsea win the league?

Erm yeah actually i have....twice. Back to back. That's like two in a row. Like one year after another. Like you know in a sequence and shit. :-)))))))))

Okay i'll shut up now.

English premier League Champions: 2004-2005, 2005-2006.

KTBFFH.

Long time no blog

Hello blogworld.

Long time no blog.

I was going to blog about something else (not sure what) but i dont feel like it anymore.

Instead....

I am a diplomat, the go-to guy. The guy that you call when there is a problem. The guy who will do all that he can (within reason) to help you out. It seems however that the world doesn't truly understand the value of us diplomats. Without us, the human race would have ceased to exist a long time ago or at best there'd be a handful left. Everybody wants to start a fucking war, simply because it is far easier to fight than to restrain yourself.

I have just got off the phone and i am not a happy bunny. Things are happening and i may not be able to sort this situation out. Being a diplomat, this grieves me deeply. If i am unable to fix this then all hell may break loose. Situation is precarious, way too precarious. Truths, half truths, misinformation etc. Rule number 1 of being a diplomat is to put your own feelings aside. But how far can this go. I have feelings of my own and sometimes i want to let them loose. But i wont. Because i believe in altruism. I believe in the greater good of mankind. If i decide to join everyone in the madness then we'll all be on a rollercoaster ride to hell.

I believe in trying to fix things until it is shattered beyond repair into a million pieces...and even then if it can be put back together then i'll give it a shot.

Sometimes people say they are tired of trying to fix other people's problems (friends/family). I believe in roles. My role is to be the diplomat and to try tirelessly to fix other people's problems/relationships. Some may think it is a thankless task but i know different. There are people today who are on speaking terms because of my efforts, people's lives have been changed in the main because of me. It is not a thankless task, it is very tiring.

If this is how i feel, imagine how Kofi Annan feels. Poor sod.

For the diplomats out there, keep going and dont fucking quit. If we all did, the world would go to hell on a cart. For the non-diplomats, try to be more understanding of what we are trying to achieve. Understand that we mean well even thought sometimes we seem to not have a clue.

I must go now. A steam train rushes on and i have the job of trying to stop it before it gets to the rail crossing.

I am aware that i am not giving any details but it must stay that way. paz e amor

This is a new one. I am sitting in an office listening to 3-6-mafia and blogging. I have always read about people blogging while they were at work and thought it was a bit weird. However i have not blogged in a while and so here i am trying to make up for lost time. Quite annoying how work gets in the way of blogging. I have been on this assignment for just over 2 weeks and my blogging rate has gone down...a lot.This is very uncool and i am not too pleased about this. I much prefer when i was semi-self employed. There was much time for blogging and generally for myself. Work really fucks with you. By the time i get home, i am too tired and oft times i need a nap. I realised with some horror today that i hadnt really listened to any music recently.That is really messed up. I have some kick butt playlists on Windows media and yet i haven't listened to any of them for about a week now. I cant begin to describe just how much ass this sucks.
Perhaps i was out of the work thingy for too long. I never thought working would have this sort of impact on me. I really really like music and bloggin and yet i have been doing neither recently. Less talk more action.
Henceforth i shall do more of the above mentioned activities.

1 to go

Bolton 0 - 2 Chelsea

Two goals from JT and frank lampard leaves us with just one more win to pretty much secure the title. Technically speaking, we need four points but if we get 3pts with a win against Everton on Monday then we'll have 3 games to find the 1 pt that will seal it.

This was supposed to be a really tough game for us with expectations high among rival clubs that Bolton could beat us or at worse get a draw. Thankfully the team has finally remembered to play like the Champions that they are.

Hopefully spurs will get at least a draw against Man Utd on Monday. If they do the game against Everton will start with the team knowing that a win will seal the title.

Back to back titles here we come.

London

I had a very good day today. Spent a good 4 or so hours with the girlfriend in bed till we really had to leave the house.

What is it about making someone orgasm that feels so good and turns us on so much. I made the girlfriend cum today, she was moaning and her whole body was shaking. Her orgasm turned me on so much that i got hard and i just wanted to keep giving her more and more orgasms for the rest of the day. Sex can be cool when you just relax and just have fun. I find it odd that there are people who dont want to give their partners pleasure; i mean like not goin down on them or willing to try small things that could make a bit of difference.
Sex should be about giving. I saw a porn clip once where the guy made the girl cum(rare i know in today's porn) after which she sucked his dick very passionately, she was so into it that you could feel the connection between them even though it was a porn flick. Oh that more people were like that in their sexual lives. Its like someone giving you a very good birthday present, you want to pay them back with and equally adequate present.
One good turn deserves another.



Went for a meal and enjoyed a nice walk around town for the rest of the evening.
A lot of times London really gets on my nerves and i even went through a period of not liking London very much for about a year. To be fair that had more to do with my personal life than anything else but the point is that sometimes i think London isn't all that it is cracked up to be. Thankfully i am no longer in this frame of mind. I love this town, it really is all that and a bag of chips - with Chilli sauce. London rocks - End of. So many different peoples, languages, cultures, foods. The architecture in some parts of the city is just stunning IMO. The different clothes that people wear, the quirky little shops, the list goes on.

It can be a cruel place as this post shows.

But mostly it is a wonderful place to live. If you haven't been then you simply must visit if you can. The only caveat is that you have to let yourself enjoy it, just like sex.




No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford."— Samuel Johnson 1777

2 to go

Man Utd 0 - 0 Sunderland

So much for the famed Man Utd late charge. They were going to come steaming past us like they did Newcastle in 96, or Arsenal in 2003. 9 wins in a row and it comes to a halt against the worst side in the league by a mile, possibly the worst side the top flight has seen in a decade. A lot of hype and talk of the title race being back on and how Chelsea were going to fold and not be able to handle the pressure.

Silly if one thinks about it. Pressere was Man Utd needing to win 14 in a row to make sure they won the title. They needed to win 5 while we needed to win 2 games. Yet the pressure was meant to be on us, i guess they were wrong.

Still, the title is not yet won. It is still ours to throw away and while i dont think it will happen, the fat lady is not singing just yet. Although i must say she has cleared her throat and is about to go on stage.

A win against Bolton tomorrow should near enough seal the title. Fitting IMO as it was there that we clinched the title last season.

How?

This story was on the radio today at work.

This is from the BBC website:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4906992.stm
.............................................................
Bedsit body found three years on
A woman's remains were found in her bedsit nearly three years after she died, an inquest heard.
The TV and heating were still on when housing officials investigating rent arrears found Joyce Vincent's remains in her living room on 25 January.
As they forced the door of the flat in Wood Green, north London, they also found stacks of unopened mail, some dating back to February 2003.
No cause of death was found, but police think she died of natural causes.
A pathologist was unable to establish the cause of death - the body was so decomposed it had to be identified through dental records.
Ms Vincent, 40, is thought to have been in women's refuge accommodation.
As well as the post, medication and food which had February 2003 expiry dates were also found.
Deputy Coroner Andrew Walker recorded an open verdict at Hornsey Coroners' Court.
...................................................

How can someone be dead for so long and no one noticed. I cannot understand the fact that this woman's body had been in her house for at least 1 year and most likely 2+years and nobody seemed to notice or give a shit. This woman was at least 40 years old, old enough to have had children, old enough to have made a few friends, old enough to have made an impact on someone in her life.
It says she might have been in a women's refuge. I thought when you were in such places, someone would come round to see you at least once a week or a fortnight at worse. How come no one from the women's refuge came to see her in all this time.
How come her mother/father, children, sisters/brothers, cousins, relatives or friends didnt call to see how she was doing? How come none of them came round to see how she was doing?

If i call my close friends and i dont hear from them, i would not wait 2 years before getting worried or something. Granted one shouldn't call the police after a day or 2 but waiting years before doing anything is just plain fucking ridiculous. WTF.

If i died and it took people who knew me 2 years to kick my door down to find my decomposed body, rest assured i will hunt all of them till the end of days until someone gives me a fucking good explanation as to why the hell they didnt check on me for so long.

The message of her later life and death is quite clear IMO.

No one cared if she lived. So she died.

Thats why we are Champions

West Ham 1 - 4 Chelsea

Are we the fucking shit or what? This team kicks so much ass that words cant describe.

So much talk before this game of Chelsea faltering at the finish line and Man Utd steaming past us to win the title. Well if this is what a faltering Chelsea team plays like then i say we keep faltering.

Poor defending at the corner and some crap goalkeeping from Cech led to the hammers scoring first. Then we had a few good chances. To compound it all, the ref stupidly sent off Maniche; that should have been a yellow card tops. There is no way in crap that tackle deserved a straight red.

West ham fans along with a large part of the country are rubbing their hands with glee at our bad fortune. Knob-jockeys, they should have known not to fuck with the mighty Chels.One of the most awesome comebacks in football followed with us winning 4-1. Drogba still cant finish but when he decides to, he can kick some major butt. The whole team to a man kicked some serious ass. Two more wins with one against Man Utd will ensure the title remains at stamford bridge.

Back to back titles here we come.

That's why we are champions
We are the special ones.

KTBFFH.

Symphony No.4

This is a picture of the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra as they received rapturous applause from a very delighted audience at the end of their performance on Tuesday Night.

It was the first time i had seen an orchestra perform. I had always wanted to go but the tickets were a bit much for my liking. The young lady got wind of a special offer of tickets for just £5. That is a stonking good deal. We got to sit in the gallery and normally those tickets would have cost £35 each. So it was a very good deal indeed.

They are the resident orchestra at the cadogan hall near Sloane Square. Sloane square kicks ass for so many reasons but the most important of them all is that it is home of Peter Jones. The store itself looks really really good following a makeover in the last 5 years or so. The single most important reason why Peter Jones rocks is the top floor cafe. The views across london are fucking awesome and the scones...oh my fucking word...the scones. Without an absolute shadow of a doubt they are quite simply the best scones in all of London. If you live in london and think you have had better, try theirs and let me know if you still think you have had better.

I digress. The orchestra performed Symphony No.1, 'Classical' (Sergei Prokofiev) and Piano Concerto in A minor (Edvard Grieg) followed by a break. The conductor (David Parry) was very enthusiastic and moved with the music. While this may not mean much to some purists, i always like conductors who put a bit of life into the performance. Janina Fialkowska was superb on the Piano and got a very hearty applause from the audience when she was finished (plus a bouquet of roses).

The piece after the break was Robert Schumann's symphony no.4. In the programme it was described as "one of the most concise, exhilarating and original symphonies ever written!". Talk about hyping up a piece of music. My girlfriend and i agreed that such description was atypical of the classical world and their love/undying loyalty to composers who lived hundreds of years ago. We didnt think it was appropriate to describe it in such colossal terms.

Robert Schumann i deeply apologise. Fuck me and all. That piece is so fucking awesome that words cant do it justice, it really cant. You simply must hear it for yourself (preferably performed by a good orchestra). Symphony No.4 IS one of the most concise, exhilarating and original symphonies ever written. Symphony No.4 is all that. It is all that and a bag of chips. It does exactly what it says on the page, it exhilarates and just kicks ass on a level that kicks more ass.

I had a really good time on tuesday night and i am glad that music exists in so many different forms.

Schumann, you rock.

O Blogger wherefore art thou

All set to blog and no blogger available. I blog therefore i am. Well not quite but i was all ready to blog to Jupiter yesterday but alas no blogger.

Coming on the back of blogger eating a decent sized post that i had created, i was not too pleased and left it till today. On my way back home half an hour ago, it hit me.

Blogger is a free service. Free. I have not paid a penny and yet here i was moaning about a service that at least 90% of the time works very well. Very thankless of me i think.

So for the record, blogger i apologise. You have been kind to me and i have really no right to criticize. Apologies blogger. I shall refrain from slagging you off in the future.

Unless you are really a tool to help the aliens from Omega 5 take over the earth in which case i vow to undermine your cause and those pesky chicken aliens.

Blogger just ate a whole fucking post.

Aaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Blast you blogger, blast you to damnation.

Daylight

Just over 5 years ago i met someone at a place i worked. I was there for only a few weeks (temping), three weeks to be exact. I was at lunch, Euston Station sitting outside. My head was buried in TheTimes and i didnt see her approach. She stopped and said hi, we chatted for a bit and she went about her way. We hadnt really spoken prior to that. I cant believe the way my body and heart is reacting as i type this.

I found a permanent job and so i had to leave. On my last Friday, i went round the building to say goodbye to a few people. I think i went to her last. We talked and she said she was almost done and would come with me to hand in my timesheet. We went to the main building but the guy i was looking for had gone home. Eventually we just had to slide the timesheet under his office door. When we came outside it was pouring down with rain. We sat on the steps of the building and talked for ages waiting for the rain to stop.

The rain finally stopped and we walked around talking and stuff. Somehow we ended up going to a nightclub with a few friends of hers. This was my first experience of going to a House club. It was absolutely positively awesome. It really was the dogs bollocks. We became friends, very close friends. I stayed over at hers and she stayed over at mine. We slept in my bed when she stayed over at mine. Nothing happened. My flatmate didnt believe me the next morning and had this shit eating grin on his face. It seemed like our friendship lasted a lifetime. We used to do the weirdest stuff sometimes, one of the best things about our friendship IMO. One time i met up with her and we bought McDonalds and sat on a pub bench on Tottenham Court Road. We were there till 2am.

I didnt see her again after that. I always questioned why our relationship changed a few months prior to that last meeting. Part of me feels that perhaps she wanted more and thought i didnt. For what its worth i didnt want to mess up an awesome friendship but i would have given it a go if i was sure she wanted to. I have no proof that this was the case and is just one possible reason out of many. Only when i didnt see her anymore did i realise just how great a friend she had been. I wanted to tell her how much i appreciated her and everything. It felt like i had been kicked out of a theatre before the play had ended and i wanted to know how it ended.

Last summer by the most bizzare sequence of events and coincidences, i bumped into her. The events that transpired to have me exactly where i was when i saw her are so odd and far ranging that it still blows my mind to this day. She joined my friends and i for a drink in a weird rock type pub. Very very bizarre. It was really good to see her and i dont think she had changed that much. Still the same weird, quirky and cool girl i had known years ago.

Last time i spoke to her was the July bombings. She was going into work and i didnt think it was a good idea. She told me matter of factly "i'm not going to not get on the bus just cos some terrorist might blow it up, shit happens all the time, you could get runover by a bus but you still go out everyday". I couldnt say anything back to that.

I didnt tell her all those things i wanted to say. Meeting her again felt to me like i had found out how the play ended. I miss the friendship that we had, i miss her because she was and is an awesome person. I think the feelings i couldnt understand back then has a name. Love. I think i loved her. The kind of love you have for a friend, a very different kind of love to that felt for a lover.

I am glad we met, she had a huge positive impact on me as a person. I am a better person for having met her. I am eternally grateful for this. I would like to name her but dont think that would be appropriate.

It is almost daylight. Good morning.

The great escape

Lying awake in bed a few minutes ago, i didnt think i could make it out of the bedroom without alerting the guard (girlfriend). The one advantage i have is that i sleep on the outside of the bed, the guard sleeps on the inside close to the wall. The escape had to be well planned and executed. I shall relay my slick and silent escape:

Slowly slide right foot to the edge of the bed, then onto the floor; repeat the same manoeuver with the right hand. I then moved my body weight towards the edge. This was a very tricky part and resulted in the guard stirring. I held my breath and went absolutely still. The guard went back to her beautiful sleep. Quickly and silently i moved my left foot to the edge. Finally my left hand joined the rest of my body on the floor. I paused for breath. Stood up in one go and made my way to the door. Contrary to popular notion, when trying to make a silent escape on barefoot it is better to walk normally and not on tiptoe. I got to the door, so far so good. Opening the door quietly is an artform and can be very very tricky but i have loads of experience of this particular artform.
I opened the door, not too wide but enough to squeeze past. Closed the door behind me and voila! freedom was mine.

I am unsure if i should tell you bad boys and girls the trick of opening a door quietly. Like i said earlier i have loads of experience of this particular exercise. Lets just say that i had a very interesting and exciting childhood. Ah screw it, i'll tell you.

If the door is already open (which it was in my recent escape): Grab the entire handle of the door, then lift the door from the handle and only then can you open the door. When you open the door, do it in one quick move and not slowly as people untrained in this skill are oft to do.

If the door is closed: Grab the handle and turn it very quickly. Once the turn is complete and the door is technically open, perform the manoeuver described above and freedom is yours.


Disclaimer: The acts described above are not applicable to all doors and any attempt to use the above manoeuver on the wrong kind of door (steel doors or blast doors for example) shall result in your detection and capture. Boy/Man is in no way responsible for your detection/capture but is in fact responsible for your escape if successful. In this case, payment shall be made to Boy/Man. This does not affect your statutory rights.

Top 10

So FHM have released their top 10 women as voted by their readers. Evidently some of them were smoking some of the good stuff before they voted.

10) Teri Hatcher
9) Carmen Electra
8) Maria Sharapova
7) Jenny McCarthy
6) Halle Berry
5) Keira Knightly
4) Jessica Simpson
3) Jessica Alba
2) Angelina Jolie
1) Scarlet Johansson


As much as i like her character in desperate housewives, Teri Hatcher is not top 10 material. Carmen Electra in number 9...WTF??? Even more absurd, Jessica Simpson in number 4. Honestly. Its amazing what one pointless carwash video can do for a woman and her perceived beauty. While i'm glad that Keira is holding it down for the UK, i wouldnt put her in my top 5.

The top 10 is seriously flawed. Thankfully they got at least two of the top 10 correct. I am speaking of course about Scarlet Johansson and Halle Berry. There is no way that Halle Berry should be outside the top 1 IMO. While Scarlet is a gorgeous young lady, i'd pick Halle Berry over her anyday. So Halle in number 1 and Scarlet in number 2.

Two absolutely gorgeous women IMO. Absolutely bloody gorgeous.