Long time no post
Hello earthlings.
01.20 am
So its been a while, a bit more than a while to be honest.
What happened? Nothing much. Just procrastination really, it is a fine art and once mastered can be taken to glorious heights.
So after a long long absence, one is posting again.
I logged into my blog stat monitor thingy to see what's been going on. Who has been coming to visit, where they are from, how they got here etc.
So here is what i found.
Top 5 popular pages are:
boy-man-in-london.blogspot.com/2008/01/unreal-tournament-2000-game-of-year.html
boy-man-in-london.blogspot.com/2006/08/blowjobshandjobs.html
boy-man-in-london.blogspot.com/
boy-man-in-london.blogspot.com/2007/06/big-heart.html
boy-man-in-london.blogspot.com/2006/05/blowjobs-at-whitehall.html
On Christmas day someone found this blog via the following search term "how much for a blowjob in london".
And on New Year's day, someone else found this blog via the following search term "where to get a blowjob in london".
Now on the face of it these search terms are quite straightforward but its late and i'm in a silly kind of mood.
So instead of just taking these terms at face value lets do something different.
First we'll deal with the New Year's question seeing as we are in the new year.
"Where to get a blowjob in london"?
There are many places to get a blowjob in London. You can get a blowjob in a car, a bus, a club, in the park, in your flat, in your garden, on your rooftop, the rooftop of your office building, on the tube, in the back of a cab, in the front of a cab, in the street, in a carpark, on your balcony, at Buckingham palace, at downing street, in Trafalgar square, in piccadilly circus, at a massage parlour (not quite the standard massage but hey who's asking right), in Soho, In a theatre, in a bar and of course at the houses of parliament.
Is this question an open ended question or is a closed question. Once they get their dick sucked will they still be asking "where to get a blowjob in london?". I think it is fair to assume this person is a tourist as any londoner ought to know where they can get a blowjob. If said londoner does not know a lady (or gentleman) friend who can see to it that their New Year is ushered in by someone with shall we say "great oral skills" then there are a couple of other options available to them.
The phone boxes in the west end can be of assistance.
Clubs (Any londoner should know of course which clubs to go to where getting a blowjob from one of the other clubbers should be quite not so complicated).
Bars (Same as above).
Parks (London parks are famous for many things, some of which the daily mail strongly disapproves of).
It is also worth noting that this dude is not being too greedy. From the looks of things the person wants just a blowjob and nothing else. This is quite admirable of them. Not one to try and push the boat to see if they may upgrade from a blowjob to a shag, they seem content with just getting their dick sucked. Fair enough. Less is sometimes more.
What at first appears a simple enough question turns out to not be so simple afterall.
The 2nd question is more tricky.
"how much for a blowjob in london"?
This has no one answer. Any of the following is the correct answer.
cab fare home, £5, £10, £20, Pint of Stella, £50, £100, A bottle of Moet, £150, £200, £200 + cab fare home, £300, A diamond ring from DeBeers, A bottle of Smirnoff ice, A shot of Vodka, A dare, A very funny one liner (man walks into a bar...ouch. hehehehe), a promotion offer.
This also depends on how the person paying for the blowjob wants it to go down (hehehehe - i am on form tonight - hehehe)
One wonders what other issues will be brought up (hehe) should this person get their wish and have someone give them the tongue lashing (hehehe - told you i was on form) they are looking for. Will they get greedy and then want an upgrade from blowjob to sex, will they want the headgiver to go slow, fast, will they want them to use their hands, will they want them to deepthroat, will they want them to swallow, will they want to come on this headgiver?
The price of a blowjob in london one finds out is by no means defined to one value.
Leading to the next question.
Is the price of a blowjob in london the same as the price of a blowjob anywhere else?
Nay, is the price of a blowjob consistent throughout the cosmos?
And i suppose ultimately.
What IS the price of a blowjob?
A philosophers nightmare.
How does one quantify a blowjob?
Can value be placed on an unquantified blowjob?
How does one know before they get their dick sucked that the blowjob will match the price they have paid?
A formula perhaps could be invented for quantifying a blowjob. I propose the following.
Q = quantified value of blowjob
b = blowjob (where b is the standard sucking action with mouth only)
h = hands (h is the use of hand to assist mouth in sucking action)
2h = 2 hands (the use of 2 hands to assist mouth in sucking action)
s = spitting (the act of spitting out the semen ejaculated into the mouth)
Sw = Swallowing (the act of swalloowing semen ejaculated into the mouth)
e = enthusiasm (the enthusiastic nature as observed by the suckee, headgiver's efforts)
Ba = Ball action (extension of oral activity to the suckee's balls)
So there we have the quantities required to quantify a blowjob.
I propose the following.
Firstly that points be awarded to some of the above quantities and that the points be madeF constants (similar to pi or pythagoras' constant).
Secondly that the formual take into account the fact that all the quantities may not be present in any one situation.
With that in mind i propose a formula for calculating the minimum blowjob possible. This includes the 2 constants present in any blowjob, b and e.
Q = b * e
A new dawn for humankind. A formula for blowjobs is born.
01.20 am
So its been a while, a bit more than a while to be honest.
What happened? Nothing much. Just procrastination really, it is a fine art and once mastered can be taken to glorious heights.
So after a long long absence, one is posting again.
I logged into my blog stat monitor thingy to see what's been going on. Who has been coming to visit, where they are from, how they got here etc.
So here is what i found.
Top 5 popular pages are:
boy-man-in-london.blogspot.com/2008/01/unreal-tournament-2000-game-of-year.html
boy-man-in-london.blogspot.com/2006/08/blowjobshandjobs.html
boy-man-in-london.blogspot.com/
boy-man-in-london.blogspot.com/2007/06/big-heart.html
boy-man-in-london.blogspot.com/2006/05/blowjobs-at-whitehall.html
On Christmas day someone found this blog via the following search term "how much for a blowjob in london".
And on New Year's day, someone else found this blog via the following search term "where to get a blowjob in london".
Now on the face of it these search terms are quite straightforward but its late and i'm in a silly kind of mood.
So instead of just taking these terms at face value lets do something different.
First we'll deal with the New Year's question seeing as we are in the new year.
"Where to get a blowjob in london"?
There are many places to get a blowjob in London. You can get a blowjob in a car, a bus, a club, in the park, in your flat, in your garden, on your rooftop, the rooftop of your office building, on the tube, in the back of a cab, in the front of a cab, in the street, in a carpark, on your balcony, at Buckingham palace, at downing street, in Trafalgar square, in piccadilly circus, at a massage parlour (not quite the standard massage but hey who's asking right), in Soho, In a theatre, in a bar and of course at the houses of parliament.
Is this question an open ended question or is a closed question. Once they get their dick sucked will they still be asking "where to get a blowjob in london?". I think it is fair to assume this person is a tourist as any londoner ought to know where they can get a blowjob. If said londoner does not know a lady (or gentleman) friend who can see to it that their New Year is ushered in by someone with shall we say "great oral skills" then there are a couple of other options available to them.
The phone boxes in the west end can be of assistance.
Clubs (Any londoner should know of course which clubs to go to where getting a blowjob from one of the other clubbers should be quite not so complicated).
Bars (Same as above).
Parks (London parks are famous for many things, some of which the daily mail strongly disapproves of).
It is also worth noting that this dude is not being too greedy. From the looks of things the person wants just a blowjob and nothing else. This is quite admirable of them. Not one to try and push the boat to see if they may upgrade from a blowjob to a shag, they seem content with just getting their dick sucked. Fair enough. Less is sometimes more.
What at first appears a simple enough question turns out to not be so simple afterall.
The 2nd question is more tricky.
"how much for a blowjob in london"?
This has no one answer. Any of the following is the correct answer.
cab fare home, £5, £10, £20, Pint of Stella, £50, £100, A bottle of Moet, £150, £200, £200 + cab fare home, £300, A diamond ring from DeBeers, A bottle of Smirnoff ice, A shot of Vodka, A dare, A very funny one liner (man walks into a bar...ouch. hehehehe), a promotion offer.
This also depends on how the person paying for the blowjob wants it to go down (hehehehe - i am on form tonight - hehehe)
One wonders what other issues will be brought up (hehe) should this person get their wish and have someone give them the tongue lashing (hehehe - told you i was on form) they are looking for. Will they get greedy and then want an upgrade from blowjob to sex, will they want the headgiver to go slow, fast, will they want them to use their hands, will they want them to deepthroat, will they want them to swallow, will they want to come on this headgiver?
The price of a blowjob in london one finds out is by no means defined to one value.
Leading to the next question.
Is the price of a blowjob in london the same as the price of a blowjob anywhere else?
Nay, is the price of a blowjob consistent throughout the cosmos?
And i suppose ultimately.
What IS the price of a blowjob?
A philosophers nightmare.
How does one quantify a blowjob?
Can value be placed on an unquantified blowjob?
How does one know before they get their dick sucked that the blowjob will match the price they have paid?
A formula perhaps could be invented for quantifying a blowjob. I propose the following.
Q = quantified value of blowjob
b = blowjob (where b is the standard sucking action with mouth only)
h = hands (h is the use of hand to assist mouth in sucking action)
2h = 2 hands (the use of 2 hands to assist mouth in sucking action)
s = spitting (the act of spitting out the semen ejaculated into the mouth)
Sw = Swallowing (the act of swalloowing semen ejaculated into the mouth)
e = enthusiasm (the enthusiastic nature as observed by the suckee, headgiver's efforts)
Ba = Ball action (extension of oral activity to the suckee's balls)
So there we have the quantities required to quantify a blowjob.
I propose the following.
Firstly that points be awarded to some of the above quantities and that the points be madeF constants (similar to pi or pythagoras' constant).
Secondly that the formual take into account the fact that all the quantities may not be present in any one situation.
With that in mind i propose a formula for calculating the minimum blowjob possible. This includes the 2 constants present in any blowjob, b and e.
Q = b * e
A new dawn for humankind. A formula for blowjobs is born.
posted by boy-man at 1:19 am
2 comments
